i jhust puked up my retainher.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
