No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
