He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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