Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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