i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
