Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
