Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
