her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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