I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
