You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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