she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
