I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He did a backflip because drugs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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