I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
