I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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