New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize