Where did you get a picture of my penis
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
