My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize