you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
