Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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