we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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