We named our party play list daddy issues
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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