Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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