Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
