Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
