I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
