Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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