His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
