Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
