Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
