Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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