Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
