They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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