ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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