it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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