Im at strip club and am horny
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
