you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize