I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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