Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
