Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
