Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
