We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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