Whod you bang
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
