vagina is talking i cant
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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