Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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