You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
