I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
