We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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