Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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