Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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