I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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