Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
