Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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