You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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