Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
