things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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