people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
