i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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