So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
