What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
