I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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