so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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